Thursday, May 21, 2015

I really love nail polish. The myriad of colors, the pungent smell, and the way it shimmers after a fresh coat. *happy feeling* It's just a fun, girly thing that I enjoy. However, there is one rule: I only wear it on my toes.

Yup, I hate wearing nail polish on my fingers. This fact was recently confirmed when I had to wear bright coral nails for our play production. After having it on for about a week, I started to realize some of the reasons I dislike it on my fingers so much.

#1 - It feels so weird. I think I have pretty sensitive hands, so the extra millimeter of weight and texture just really bothers me. I thought the feeling might go away after a day or two, but it still felt peculiar. Thankfully, I never feel it on my toes. :)

#2 - I can't ever get the two hands to look the same. And being a symmetrical perfectionist, that bothers me. It probably shouldn't...

#3 - And this one is the most significant. When I have nail polish on my hands, I become too focused on MY hands. The flash of color constantly draws my eyes down. I become focused on ME. "Oh dear, they don't look perfect. Oh no, there's another scratch I need to cover. Darn it, I chipped the corner off..." And on and on it goes. I become more obsessed with how my hands look than what my hands are doing. I hesitate to reach for things, clean dishes, untie pesky knots, haul boxes, play with the dog, etc.  All kinds of normal things that take a split second longer to do, because I'm too worried about messing up my hands. And I don't want to be that kind of person. (Side note: Please don't think I'm bashing people who wear nail polish...it's just something that trips ME up personally!)

As I finally scrubbed off the bright pink at the end of the week, I thought about what a week in nail polish had taught me. God uses the funniest things to get our attention, doesn't He? :)

I began to see a correlation between my hesitations to work with my hands, and my hesitations to work with my heart. Just like I was afraid to scuff up my nails, I tend to be afraid of scuffing up my 'image'.

- I don't reach out to certain people, because I'm afraid of what others will think.
- I refuse to ask for help, because I don't want to seem weak or incapable.
- I shy away from new opportunities, because I'm afraid to fail.

And these are just the tip of the iceberg. So often, I look down at myself and forget to look up at Him! He alone will give me the strength, the courage, the humility, and the grace that I can never supply myself. All I have to do is ask.  :)

Who knew that nail polish could be so thought-provoking? I certainly didn't. :) So this week, I pray that I will reach out more, love more, get messy more, and grow closer to the one who gave me my hands and feet to bless others. But for now, please excuse me while I go paint my toenails... :)

~Riley

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