“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

As I sit here by the bay, with the seagulls squawking happily, the warmest breeze tickling my toes, and the waters of Lake Michigan rippling out as far as the eye can see, this verse makes me stop and smile.

Joni Eareckson Tada visited our church this past Sunday, and it was absolutely incredible to hear her story and listen to her teaching. It wasn’t so much a sermon as it was a living, breathing example right on the stage of how the Lord can truly use our weaknesses to display His strength.

Too often, we view our weaknesses as horrible defects - flaws that must be fixed. I can easily identify with that sentiment, particularly in the last two weeks! But more on that later... :) Joni, however, challenged me to think with a completely different perspective. My weaknesses are there for a distinct purpose: to expose my sins, sanctify me through suffering, and shove me closer into the arms of Christ. Except for the last item, this list ain’t exactly a walk in the park! Which is precisely why God uses these pesky little weaknesses of ours to mold and shape us into His likeness...an exhausting, redemptive, lifelong process.

As I came home after church, I prayed that God would show me some of my own weaknesses and make me more aware of how they point to Him. As I reflected back on what have been the two hardest, craziest weeks of my life thus far, three main weaknesses stood out to me.

The first one may not sound like a weakness to others, but I can so easily make it an idol in my life: being around the people I love. I have never been away from my entire family for more than a week, and I was never the child who dreamed of summer camps away from home. Although I adore traveling, it usually involves family and friends and thus doesn’t feel as much like ‘leaving home.’ When I signed up for this internship, I knew that leaving my parents, siblings, friends and mentors would be hard, but I never anticipated it being this hard. I am not a person who cries easily, but I think I’ve cried more in the last two weeks than I have in the past two years. Good grief. :) Now that I’m finally settled in, I can look back and chuckle at the strangest little things that set me off sniffling... :)

So how has God used this weakness to show me His strength? Well, He is showing me more every day that although I miss my earthly family like crazy, He is ultimately my heavenly Father who is still watching over me in Michigan, just like He did in Virginia. Not only that, but I have the peace of knowing that He is also guiding and protecting those I left behind in their own daily lives. He is also calling me to live out the Great Commission in my new little corner of the world. Jesus never said, “Go wherever you’re most comfortable, and preach the good news to only the people you feel close to.” Um, no. :) We are called to step out in faith (sometimes sheer terror!) and be lights in the darkness for Jesus, something I hope and pray that I am doing here in this beautiful state of Michigan.

The second weakness I’ve noticed lately is my desire for a steady relationship. Trust me, as a self-proclaimed romantic, this desire has always been around (says the girl who once proposed to a poor fellow preschooler), but I have experienced it more intensely in the last few weeks. Each day seems to bring news of another friend of mine starting to date, getting engaged, or even married. While there has been the potential for relationship, I haven’t felt the Lord calling me to that stage of life quite yet. I’ve always dreamed of marrying young, and moving straight from home into my first shared apartment or house with a new husband to share it with. Apparently, God decided that wasn’t the plan. :) Here I am, living independently, and still quite single!

Yet, this weakness is teaching me two important lessons. The first one is to seek first the greatest Lover of my soul: the One who made it! He loves me more completely and totally than any man ever will, and I am learning to pursue and be pursued by Him on a daily basis. The second lesson is patience. And oh, do I need to learn this lesson. I have never been a patient person and probably never will be! :) But He is calling me to follow His timing, and not my own schedule, however hard that may be.

The last weakness that I have struggled with during this new Michigan adventure is the fear of change. Let me tell you something...if you don’t like change, then I would not recommend moving halfway across the country by yourself to work in a completely new job environment while still taking college classes. :) I have had the rug of routine yanked out from under my feet so many times over the past two weeks that I’ve lost count. From living in Virginia to living in Michigan. From coming to meals every day to making my meals every day. From selling chicken and waffle fries to making fresh donuts by the hundreds every morning. From waking up at 7am to waking up at 5am. From paying virtually no bills to paying for my own gas, groceries, and clothing. From sleeping in a normal bed to dragging myself up into a bunk every night. The list goes on and on and on...

BUT.

I’ve gotten to live and work with fellow CollegePlus students. I’ve watched them stay up with me until midnight as study buddies and avid encouragers. I’ve gotten to explore in my own car, on my own schedule. I’ve watched more fireworks this year than ever before. I’ve made friends at work with Heidi, Tim, Judy, Janie, Melanie, Tyler, Linda, Toni, Cris, Nicole, and so many more. I’ve seen the sunrise every morning on my way to work at 5:45. I’ve watched the sunset over the water of at least four different lakes. I’ve gotten to hear Joni Eareckson Tada speak at my church. I’ve successfully cooked my own meals for two weeks without starving or setting the house on fire. I’ve washed my own laundry twice now without changing any of the colors. *fistpump* I’ve watched a live Broadway show from the comfort of my own bed. I’ve learned how to make the softest, roundest donuts you’ve ever seen. I’ve learned to call on Jesus more every day, whether to cry on His shoulder, thank Him for the beauty that surrounds me, or simply tell Him about my day.

I may have weaknesses, but they are a distinct part of who God made me to be. He gave me specific areas where I have to cry out, “I can’t do this. But He CAN.” Friends, what are the weaknesses that God has placed in your life? This week, I encourage you to look around and see where He is calling you deeper, pushing you farther, and pulling you closer to Himself. You might not be in Michigan, starting one of the biggest adventures of your life, but I assure you that His lessons are everywhere. Just like Joni encouraged me on Sunday, own your weaknesses! Accept them with hands open wide and let Jesus sanctify you through them every day. With that being said, I’m going to go battle one of my current weaknesses: the terrors of grocery shopping... :)

Til Kingdom come,

Riley

Happy Birthday to my lovely little blog!

Wandering Heart is one year old today, and it's unbelievable to think about everything that has happened in one short year! So many stories to tell, but only a fraction made it onto these pages. Over the next year, I hope to write many more!

For today, I just wanted to share part of a paper I wrote for a fantastic Leadership Communication course. This was from the Organizational Communication Study I wrote on the SVCC, with 9 sections totaling about 24 pages. However, the final section made my mother cry (which doesn't happen very often!) and she suggested I share it on here.

So, without further ado, here is what I truly believe about singing.

"Every area of life has been touched and transformed by the Creation, Fall, and Redemption, including the SVCC. We know that singing was a part of God’s perfect creation, because Adam quite literally sang the praises of Eve when he first saw her! In a slightly less factual, but nonetheless beautiful image, C.S. Lewis metaphorically describes Creation in his book, The Magician’s Nephew. “If you had seen and heard it...you would have felt quite certain that it was the stars themselves which were singing, and that it was the First Voice, the deep one, which had made them appear and made them sing.” In the pure and perfect creation, the SVCC would exist just as those stars, singing to the glory of their Creator! However, man chose to rebel against God, leave His presence, and stain the world with sin. Our hearts are no longer in rhythm with God, and we vainly try to sing our own songs rather than the unique melody He wrote for each one of us. The Fall is clearly evident in the SVCC: directors leave, arguments occur, money is scarce, and notes are flat. However, the Fall was not God’s final concert. He orchestrated the most brilliant encore performance the world has ever seen by sending His one and only Son to live perfectly, die undeservingly, and resurrect triumphantly. To those who acknowledge their utter depravity and dependence on Jesus and His sacrifice, He gives us the gift of Redemption! Although sin still runs rampant in the SVCC, there are also countless glimpses of Redemption: a director who loves the Lord, our songs of praise to Him, the kindness and love between choristers, and so many more! Although many choristers are not believers, it is wonderful to know that there are several of us in the SVCC who are singing for an audience of One. I pray that we are lights in the darkness and that God might use us to bring His song of Redemption to our fellow choristers, leaders, and community."

~ Riley

Do life big.

It's the name of a song by Jamie Grace, and one of my particular favorites. She sings:

I came to give you life,

So spread your wings and fly!

I've got a secret to share,

You are enough to change the atmosphere.

I don't know about you, but I don't always feel like an atmosphere-changer. In fact, I'm not a huge fan of change at all. Change scares me. It's hard enough to change schedules, plans, leaders, or anything else. So the atmosphere?!? I don't know if I'm cut out for this, Lord...

But He knows that I'm a big scaredy-cat, and that's why He gave me a mother who isn't. :) My mother is always encouraging me to reach out, spread my wings, and try things that scare me. In fact, she gave me a challenge for my senior year of high school:

Do at least one new thing every week for the entire school year.

Now, I may not like change, but I do love a good challenge! I started a neat, organized notebook (Because who doesn't love the excuse to start a new notebook? Am I right?!) to keep track of my adventures. I won't bore you with the whole list, but here are a few highlights...

- Visited an antique mall. (I may or may not have almost gotten lost in there...)

- Baked a peach pie. I'm all about setting food goals...

- Finally found a promise ring that I love.

- Learned how to French braid my own hair. I've been trying since 5th grade. *sigh*

- Took the Myers-Briggs personality test. (ESFJ, in case you're curious.)

- Kissed a dolphin. Oh, happiness.

- Learned how to remove wallpaper. It's actually kind of fun, in my opinion.

- Waltzed my way through a private dance lesson with Ben.

- Used my first hashtag. I know, I know... #oldfashioned #whatcanIsay

- Planned a surprise party. Secrets are awesome, just sayin'...

There are many more, some big and others small. Each one, however, has been a new adventure and one step further out of my comfort zone. But the biggest item on this list happened just a few weeks ago, and I'm pretty excited to tell you guys about it.

I'm moving to Michigan. :)

But let me back up... 

Many of you know that I am currently earning my college degree right now through CollegePlus. The student community is incredible, and I have met so many amazing people, both in person and online. Two particular students, Richie and Kasey Friske (Yes, they met through CP, got married, and are literally the cutest couple ever. But I digress...) live and work up at Friske Orchards in Ellsworth, Michigan, in the Charlevoix area. This incredible family farm produces over 5.5 MILLION pounds of fresh fruit and vegetables every year, and has been run by the Friske family since 1962. Besides the farm and orchards, there's also a market, cafe, bakery, children's play area and more! Needless to say, this operation needs many hands to keep the business running smoothly. That's where I come in...

I will be leaving Virginia in late June to go work/intern at the market until the end of October. I will be living with other CollegePlus students on the farm and building memorable friendships with them as well! This will be my first experience living away from home, and I am both excited and terrified. :) There are so many new experiences to be had, and I'm looking forward to tackling each one as it comes. I've never worked full-time before, but a four-month pause in my degree is welcome indeed!

Some of you may have heard this news already, but I know others have not. I wanted to let everyone know, however, why I will disappear at the end of June! (Although a top-secret government mission would be far more exciting to write about. Maybe next year...) The hardest part of this adventure will be leaving you all - my dear friends and family - for a while. However, I would absolutely LOVE it if anyone visited me over the summer. If you're up in the Northern Michigan area, please let me know and I will try to meet up with you! :) Friske's is a beautiful place, and we love our visitors!

So, my dear readers, that is how I am 'doing life big' this summer. :) I'm spreading my wings, taking the jump, and eagerly waiting to see where God takes me on this flight!

~ Riley