“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my
power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly
about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
As I sit here by the bay, with the seagulls squawking
happily, the warmest breeze tickling my toes, and the waters of Lake Michigan
rippling out as far as the eye can see, this verse makes me stop and smile.
Joni Eareckson Tada visited our church this past Sunday, and
it was absolutely incredible to hear her story and listen to her teaching. It
wasn’t so much a sermon as it was a living, breathing example right on the stage of how the Lord can
truly use our weaknesses to display His strength.
Too often, we view our weaknesses as horrible defects - flaws
that must be fixed. I can easily identify with that sentiment, particularly in
the last two weeks! But more on that later... :) Joni, however, challenged me
to think with a completely different perspective. My weaknesses are there for a
distinct purpose: to expose my sins, sanctify me through suffering, and shove
me closer into the arms of Christ. Except for the last item, this list ain’t
exactly a walk in the park! Which is precisely why God uses these pesky little
weaknesses of ours to mold and shape us into His likeness...an exhausting,
redemptive, lifelong process.
As I came home after church, I prayed that God would show me
some of my own weaknesses and make me more aware of how they point to Him. As I
reflected back on what have been the two hardest, craziest weeks of my life
thus far, three main weaknesses stood out to me.
The first one may not sound like a weakness to others, but I
can so easily make it an idol in my life: being around the people I love. I
have never been away from my entire family for more than a week, and I was
never the child who dreamed of summer camps away from home. Although I adore
traveling, it usually involves family and friends and thus doesn’t feel as much
like ‘leaving home.’ When I signed up for this internship, I knew that leaving
my parents, siblings, friends and mentors would be hard, but I never anticipated
it being this hard. I am not a person
who cries easily, but I think I’ve cried more in the last two weeks than I have
in the past two years. Good grief. :) Now that I’m finally settled in, I can
look back and chuckle at the strangest
little things that set me off sniffling... :)
So how has God used this weakness to show me His strength?
Well, He is showing me more every day that although I miss my earthly family
like crazy, He is ultimately my heavenly
Father who is still watching over me in Michigan, just like He did in Virginia.
Not only that, but I have the peace of knowing that He is also guiding and
protecting those I left behind in their own daily lives. He is also calling me
to live out the Great Commission in my new little corner of the world. Jesus
never said, “Go wherever you’re most comfortable, and preach the good news to
only the people you feel close to.” Um, no. :) We are called to step out in
faith (sometimes sheer terror!) and be lights in the darkness for Jesus,
something I hope and pray that I am doing here in this beautiful state of
Michigan.
The second weakness I’ve noticed lately is my desire for a
steady relationship. Trust me, as a self-proclaimed romantic, this desire has
always been around (says the girl who once proposed to a poor fellow
preschooler), but I have experienced it more intensely in the last few weeks.
Each day seems to bring news of another friend of mine starting to date,
getting engaged, or even married. While there has been the potential for
relationship, I haven’t felt the Lord calling me to that stage of life quite
yet. I’ve always dreamed of marrying young, and moving straight from home into
my first shared apartment or house with a new husband to share it with.
Apparently, God decided that wasn’t the plan. :) Here I am, living
independently, and still quite single!
Yet, this weakness is teaching me two important lessons. The
first one is to seek first the greatest Lover of my soul: the One who made it! He loves me more completely and
totally than any man ever will, and I am learning to pursue and be pursued by
Him on a daily basis. The second lesson is patience. And oh, do I need to learn
this lesson. I have never been a patient person and probably never will be! :)
But He is calling me to follow His
timing, and not my own schedule, however hard that may be.
The last weakness that I have struggled with during this new
Michigan adventure is the fear of change. Let me tell you something...if you
don’t like change, then I would not recommend moving halfway across the country
by yourself to work in a completely new job environment while still taking
college classes. :) I have had the rug of routine yanked out from under my feet
so many times over the past two weeks that I’ve lost count. From living in
Virginia to living in Michigan. From coming to meals every day to making my meals every day. From selling
chicken and waffle fries to making fresh donuts by the hundreds every morning.
From waking up at 7am to waking up at 5am. From paying virtually no bills to
paying for my own gas, groceries, and clothing. From sleeping in a normal bed
to dragging myself up into a bunk every night. The list goes on and on and on...
BUT.
I’ve gotten to live and work with fellow CollegePlus
students. I’ve watched them stay up with me until midnight as study buddies and
avid encouragers. I’ve gotten to explore in my own car, on my own schedule.
I’ve watched more fireworks this year than ever before. I’ve made friends at
work with Heidi, Tim, Judy, Janie, Melanie, Tyler, Linda, Toni, Cris, Nicole,
and so many more. I’ve seen the sunrise every morning on my way to work at
5:45. I’ve watched the sunset over the water of at least four different lakes. I’ve gotten to hear Joni Eareckson Tada
speak at my church. I’ve successfully cooked my own meals for two weeks without
starving or setting the house on fire. I’ve washed my own laundry twice now without
changing any of the colors. *fistpump* I’ve
watched a live Broadway show from the comfort of my own bed. I’ve learned how
to make the softest, roundest donuts you’ve ever seen. I’ve learned to call on
Jesus more every day, whether to cry on His shoulder, thank Him for the beauty
that surrounds me, or simply tell Him about my day.
I may have weaknesses, but they are a distinct part of who
God made me to be. He gave me specific
areas where I have to cry out, “I can’t do this. But He CAN.” Friends, what are
the weaknesses that God has placed in your life? This week, I encourage you to
look around and see where He is calling you deeper, pushing you farther, and
pulling you closer to Himself. You might not be in Michigan, starting one of
the biggest adventures of your life, but I assure you that His lessons are
everywhere. Just like Joni encouraged me on Sunday, own your weaknesses! Accept them with hands open wide and let Jesus
sanctify you through them every day. With that being said, I’m going to go
battle one of my current weaknesses: the terrors of grocery shopping... :)
Til Kingdom come,
Riley